No thank you

And now, because sometimes being snarky is way more fun than loving stuff, here are the top shoe crimes of Spring 09.

Viktor & Rolf
Viktor... Rolf... darlings... airbrushed flames??? NOT A GOOD LOOK.

Donna Karan
These sandals are hideous. I just don't even have anything witty to say about them. They are cheap-looking and look like they belong to the weirdo, older, trashy bridesmaid at your cousin's wedding who drank too much too early and made an ass of herself before they cut the cake and was seen leaving the premises with her ugly sandals in hand, in tears yelling ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID NEVER THE BRIDE before promptly hurling in the parking lot and passing out in the backseat of a car that wasn't hers.

I have an aversion to Western gear, this is true, but these shoes are not helping the matters at hand. I find them offensive to tell you the truth... and slightly cartoonish, and inspired by "themed" pole dancer outfits.

Dolce & Gabbana
Dear designers everywhere. This incomplete shoe malarky has to stop. Yes, we get it, that's so crazy that you can do a shoe like that! But you know? We've seen it before and we asked ourselves what the point was back then too. And frankly, with the astronomical prices that y'all are charging these days, I expect a whole shoe. I expect a shoe that I don't have to take classes on how to walk in it, or be afraid that a bee is going to sting me while I'm out walking in the park.
That being said, even if the shoes had a whole sole, they would still be on this list. They are clunky and grotesque. Sorry kids.


hazel said...

i have to agree with you on all of these. the D&G burn my eyes, actually.

i was really disappointed with V&R, i'm a die hard viktor and rolf fan (late nights watching they're collection instead of sleeping are sooo worth it). i just felt that this shoe is so...so HIDEOUS. it doesn't look viktor and rolf AT ALL.

i'm not quite sure what went down in that design studio that made their pretty little imaginations create this piece of crap.

nadarine said...

I think Viktor & Rolf went to Hot Topic, pillaged their "rejected shoes that we couldn't sell even on clearance" bin, and branded that monstrosity as their own.

In other words: NO.

readysetfashion said...

oh my, you picked good ones.....you might be able to pay me to wear any of them EXCEPT those donna karans....they hurt my eyes.

editor said...


Enfievre said...

i am having so many problems with the donna karan one, i dont even know where to begin.

white lightning said...

I AM STILL HOLDING STRONG ON GIVENCHY. i was sooo into the uglyness of that show. I STAND BY IT!!

i realize i am alone here.